We write for five minutes on a one word prompt. This week: BEAUTY
Ready, set, GO!
I've been in pain with a migraine for 39 days now. I spent 19 days in the hospital while they tried everything imaginable to get rid of it to no avail. On my 6th IV I developed a blood clot and now have to be treated with blood thinners.
SO. BEAUTY has felt rather elusive.
However, BEAUTY is wherever you look. When I am in massive pain, yes, I have to look harder. So I started taking pictures. To help me. To see.
I wish things were different. I miss the old me. I miss driving and the noise of my life. I miss being in the sunshine and yes, even shoveling snow.
I am learning, again, how I am NOT what I do. The BEAUTY inside of me and the BEAUTY around me cannot be contained or even distorted by pain, unless... I LET IT.
When I am so sick of the pain and I just want it to go away - legit, right?! I honestly want to stop breathing till its over. I am NOT suicidal. I want to live, I just want the pain to stop. Then it sucks me in like an undertow dragging me out to the sea of self pity.
Sometimes it is easier to break free than others, but eventually I do. To look for BEAUTY, again.
|Light saber storage, just in case.|